


Little Red – “AVERAGE-HEIGHT GREY!”

by SedofRan



Series: Talestuck [3]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: F/F, F/M, Gamzee's Mouth, Karkat's mouth, Little Red Riding Hood - Freeform, M/M, Swearing, Talestuck, Wolfbro, Wolves, bad raps, lots of swearing
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-03-14
Updated: 2016-10-09
Packaged: 2018-05-26 17:40:10
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,670
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6249286
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SedofRan/pseuds/SedofRan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Karkat, the newest Little Red (Average-Height Grey!), has been dating the local "Wolfbro" for some time now. Everything is going just fine. They don't really fight and they have a steady pattern that coincides with their duties.<br/>And Karkat is extremely bored.<br/>He still likes being with Gamzee, but feels that something is missing from his life; something that will take away the agonizingly boring repetition that he has fallen into.<br/>Enter Dave Strider.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The New Red

Things weren’t right. Not to say that things were particularly wrong, but… not particularly right either. Things were not as he had imagined, even though nothing specific was missing from his long-passed day dreams. Everything was going strong; going according to every line of every romcom that he had ever read.

Right?

Gamzee was great. Never has Karkat ever gotten trapped in a screaming match that ended with them red in the face, unable to catch their breath fast enough to continue, unlike some of his conversations with a certain two-toned mage. Then again, Karkat was not even sure that he had ever seen Gamzee scream in anger or rage. The “Wolfbro” was never seen without his dopey grin unless it was replaced with a dull-eyed gaze into random corners of the forest, as if he were seeing all of the “miraculous miracles” in those small spots and didn’t dare tear his eyes away from the sight.

Karkat sometimes worried about the “herbs” his boyfriend was on.

It wasn’t unusual for the leader of the local wolves and the resident Little Red, a name which made Karkat shudder in a mix of revulsion and rage, to develop some sort of relationship. That, however, tends to go no farther than close friends, though a deeper relationship was not looked down upon, nor would Karkat be the first in the long line of Vantas’ to do so. Karkat blamed his brother for leaving him at home for hours on end with nothing but trashy romance novels about maidens swooning for beefy wolfman who teach them to look beyond the beast to find the beauty inside, leading to love that was against the rules of their tribes, causing them to meet in secret until the fateful day that local heartthrob, in a jealous fit of rage, strikes at the wolfman’s heart only to hit her instead and-

… _anyway_ … it was all Kankri’s fault for leaving him alone for so long with those books to keep him occupied; books that were _not_ beside his bed at all times with worn pages and deeply creased spines.

Unfortunately, or perhaps, not so unfortunately, he was no maiden and Gamzee was no beefy wolfman. They were not in a romcom novel with a picture of them cuddling together, his head resting on the other’s bare chest, on the cover. No. His life wasn’t a romcom.

Shaking the thoughts out of his head, the new Little Red continued along the path. No need to get his mind lost in thoughts of false romances when he was heading towards his own _real_ one. Not that he even need to pay even the smallest bit of attention to reach his destination, seeing as his feet remembered the worn paths well by now. Had he been a younger age, like he was the first few times that he tagged along with Kankri to see what his future “occupation” would be like, he might have been more worried. But he wasn’t a small child, no matter what Sollux or Vriska said, and he couldn’t get lost in these trees even if he tried.

He is quick to spot amongst the greenery, partially because of his choice of black pants with indigo spots that clash with the duller colors of the forest around him, but mostly due to the fact that Gamzee was just too tall to miss. All of the Makaras were tall and the two that the Vantas brothers knew were only going to get bigger. Gamzee, at the moment, stood hunched over at 6’3’’, a good foot or so taller than Karkat, a fact that never failed to be brought up in almost every conversation with just about everyone.

The “Wolfbro” wasn’t as “high on life and miracles” as he typically was, it would seem, since he managed to break his hazy gaze away from the bark of a tree at the sound of his boyfriend drawing near. He gave the shorter boy a wide grin, showing off his sharp fangs, and holding his arms out to him.

“Hey, motherfucker,” Gamzee said smoothly. “Why don’t you get all up in your bro’s arms and enjoy the motherfucking miracles of a motherfucking cuddlejam?” Karkat didn’t need to answer, for they had been through this near every day since they had gotten together. Once he was close enough, the wolfman pulls him into a tight embrace, nuzzling his face into Karkat’s dark locks. “How is my motherfucking Karbro on this miraculous motherfucking day?”

It was the same thing that he had said the other day, and the day before that, and the day before that… Likewise, Karkat responded the same, just like always. Then the pair was wonder through the mazes of the forest, hand in hand, as they fulfilled their duties. Gamzee spoke up every now and then about little things, like a “miraculous bird” he had seen that morning or a “motherfucking small flower that reminded his thinkpan of a certain small motherfucker”. In between his mutterings and ramblings of utter nonsense, Gamzee would honk, giggle, and then continue on as if nothing had happened to interrupt his talkings.

Everything was perfect. Gamzee took his angry words and frustrated bouts of yelling in stride, smiling and forgetting about it almost immediately with a bright smile and a kiss to his reddening cheek. Their entwined hands never left one another and their work was simple enough to not put much thought into it most of the day, allowing them to just enjoy each other’s company.

And Karkat had never been more bored in his entire life.


	2. Our Last Conversation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone. Dave is going to be making a appearance soon and I would like to know who you think he should be, fairy tale wise. I kinda want to make him a knight, but I don't have a specific story in mind. Comment if you want him to be a knight from a specific story, just a regular knight, or if you have any ideas on what he could be instead of a knight.  
> I will be updating Kankri and the Beast next, more than likely, so that should give you all about a week or so to tell me your thoughts on this.  
> Thanks for the help.

“I still don’t see why I have to get up at fuck-all hours,” Karkat grumbled, glaring at the head of similar raven locks as their owner worked by the stove. “And I don’t see why you have to get up with me like this. I know that you don’t have anything to fucking do.”

“Please mind your language, Karkat,” Kanrki said, his diction crisp as ever. He scooped two bowlfuls of porridge out of the heated pot, taking a few seconds to make sure both bowls were evenly filled and equal in every way. Nodding his head in approval, he removed the pot from the stove and carried their breakfast to the table. “You don’t want anyone to feel triggered by it, do you?”

“I don’t fucking care.” Karkat let his head drop on the tabletop with a soft ‘ _thud’_. “No one fucking cares. Only fucktards like you fucking care about fucking triggering people. Fuck.”

Kankri frowned, dragging his spoon around the rim of his bowl absentmindedly. “I believe that you might be spending too much time with Gamzee. You seem to have picked up on part of his favorite word.”

“Well we are dating.” Karkat sat up, allowing Kankri to gently push his own breakfast closer to him. He quickly dug in, barely registering the bland taste of the cheap meal as it rushed down his throat.

“So how is that going, by the way?”

The glare that Kankri received from his younger brother was enough to send the talkative boy to silence. “We,” Karkat gestured between the two of them with his spoon, dripping some porridge onto the tabletop, “are not doing this. I am not going to sit here and tell you all about my day or my relationships or any of those things that you read about in your brain-numbing novels of yours. I am going to eat my slop and you are going to eat your slop. I will then leave and you will go back to bed, or go read, or whatever suites your plausible deniability. Are we clear?”

Kankri stood, taking his now empty bowl with him. “I do believe that you have triggered me.”

Karkat groaned, letting his head fall upon the table again, just barely missing the remains of his breakfast. “I hate you,” he mumbled, barely audible, “I really, fucking truly hate you. I hope you know that.”

“Your basket will be ready in a moment,” Kankri stated, ignoring his younger brother’s words.

“I don’t need you to prepare my fucking basket, idiot,” Karkat insisted, sitting up. “I can do it myself.”

“I do not mind.”

“But I do!” Karkat stood up and swiped the half-filled basket from Kankri, taking him by surprise. “I don’t need you to fucking baby me. I don’t need you to pack my basket or hold my hand as I go through the damn forest.”

“I just wanted to help you,” Kankri stated calmly, “and it is a habit that has grown on me for a large majority of my life. I am sorry if it triggers you so, but it is hard for me to get over these habits and desires to aide you so suddenly.”

“Kankri,” Karkat placed the basket on the table, not bothering to even look at it as he tossed the rest of the meal into it, making Kankri wince at the carelessness, “you need to get a fucking hobby. Sleep in for once. Get out of the house. Go for a walk! I don’t really care, but you need to do something other than lock yourself in your room, reading until I come back. It’s fucking stupid and pathetic.” Karkat tried not to think of the years that he spent doing the exact same thing, save for the occasional outing with Sollux or one of his other friends when they were free.

For once, Kankri didn’t have any words to say. He stood there silently, watching Karkat finish packing before heading towards the front door with him.

Karkat took his cloak from the hook, scowling at the sight of red starting to bleed through the grey. “I need to go to Kanaya’s soon to get this dyed again.” He flung the grey cloth over his shoulders and fastened it tightly, already cursing the world in his mind for the cold chill that he would no doubt feel as soon as he stepped out onto their front porch.

“You could just leave it red,” Kankri finally said, leaning against the doorframe that led to their kitchen and dining room. “I did.”

“Well I’m not you, am I?” The younger brother hissed as he shoved his feet into his boots roughly, not bothering to even unlace them first. “Besides, I hate red.”

“An odd characteristic for a Little Red.”

“Shut up, shithead.” Karkat rolled his red eyes. “And I am not little. I am average height. I just happen to make friends with a lot of freakishly tall fucktards.”

“You shouldn’t call your friends that.”

“Fuck off.”

Kankri bit his lower lip, trying to keep from saying any more to the triggered boy. His eyes followed his younger brother’s form as he sloppily finished his preparations and opened the door.

A faint dusting of red colored Karkat's pale cheeks. “Thanks for breakfast,” he mumbled, quickly shutting the door and rush towards the forest before his brother could respond.

He erased all thoughts of his older brother from his mind as he stomped along the all-too-familiar path, not knowing that he would not see Kankri when he got home. Nor the next day for breakfast.

Or for the next few months that followed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone. Dave is going to be making a appearance soon and I would like to know who you think he should be, fairy tale wise. I kinda want to make him a knight, but I don't have a specific story in mind. Comment if you want him to be a knight from a specific story, just a regular knight, or if you have any ideas on what he could be instead of a knight.  
> I will be, more than likely, updating Kankri and the Beast next, so that should give you all about a week or so to tell me your thoughts on this.  
> Thanks for the help.


	3. Yo

Just as he had done the day before, and the many days before that, Karkat strolled down the path to meet Gamzee, already preparing the angry rant in his head for when he reached the wolfman. He would no doubt find him, again, staring off into nothing as he awaited Karkat and his baskets of treats to keep his sap-obsessed self happy.

Karkat thought back onto the few times that he had walked in on his boyfriend stripping the sopor trees of their bark, scooping handfuls of the dangerous sap into his mouth and mumbling about miracles. Sure he was always easier to deal with while under the influence of the substance, but that stuff was known to destroy minds and wreck somebody’s life. That is why people stopped using it generations ago. Sadly, it would seem like Gamzee had missed the memo.

He also thought back to the few times when, against his better judgement, he had allowed his boyfriend to persuade him into ingesting the sap himself. Karkat couldn’t remember anything that happened after the first few bites of sopor up until he woke up in his bed the next morning. Frankly, he wasn’t sure he wanted to remember what “Sopor-Karkat” did during those missing hours.

“Damn wolf-clown,” Karkat muttered as his pace quickened at the thoughts of the past, “licking the trees like they are some sort of ‘miraculous’ lollipops. Fuck! I don’t feel like dealing with this today.”

“Can’t say that I expected to hear that today,” a voice to the side of the path stated, causing Karkat to jump back in surprise. “Wolf-clowns and tree licking? And I think I heard something about ‘miraculous lollipops’? This place sounds fun.”

A tall boy, at least a foot or so taller than Karkat, was leaning up against a tree, gazing at Karkat like he had been waiting there for him for hours. Seeing as everyone in the village knew all of his routes by now, the idea wasn’t too farfetched. Then again, the Little Red didn’t think that this boy was from the village, seeing as he would have recognized the near-white blond hair and dark shades that masked his eyes.

Besides, no one except Kankri would wear that much red. He would have noticed an idiot like that.

Noticing the glare that Karkat was sending, the boy smirked and tugged on the end of his red cape. “You like? Man this is the sickest of all sick things. Guarded by the most fearsome dragon there ever was, I bombarded her with my sweet beats and sick rhymes until she was just overwhelmed by my raps and just had to bow before me and gift me like I was some sort of god. I was like ‘naw’ to that, but I ain’t one to turn down a wicked cape.”

Karkat stared at him in silence for a whole second before turning and continuing down the path without a word.

“Hey,” the boy called after him calling, following like he was his shadow. “No need to go around like a great depression and putting others down. That shit ain’t cool, yo.”

“I have no idea what the fuck you are talking about,” Karkat hissed, speeding up his pace, “and stop following me!”

“Naw, man,” the other said smoothely. “I don’t follow. This is the way that I was going in the first place. If anything, I would say that you were following me.”

“I’m in front of you.”

“That don’t prove nothing. Order is just an illusion.” He stuck out his hand. “The names Dave Strider.”

Karkat’s glare wandered from the outstretched hand to Dave’s face, then back down to the hand before finally settling on forward as he ignored the other.

“Wow. No need to be so cold,” Dave stated with a low whistle, “I can feel the ice forming from that glare already. Soon I’ll be just an icicle, frozen in place, forever left hanging. I wonder if my arm will get tired even while frozen.”

“Pretty sure you would be dead, fucktard.” Karkat shifted his basket onto the other arm, keeping it far from Dave. “And put your hand down already.”

“That’s not how this works.” Dave shoved his outstretched hand closer to the scowling boy. “I have been cursed by your grouchy magic and am trapped like this for forever and a day. The only way to break such a strong spell is for another hand to meet mine in the middle, taking half of the spell so that we, together, can disperse and be alright again.”

“You look like an idiot holding your arm out like that while you walk.”

“Harsh words aren’t going to break my spell, little man, but nice try.”

Karkat rolled his eyes, but complied. He brought his fist up and weakly punched the offending palm, forcing the hand away from his face. “ _There_. I ‘broke your damn spell’. Will you leave me the fuck alone now?”

Dave lowered his arm with a whistle. “That wasn’t quite a high-five, but I will accept it for now.”

“Funny. This doesn’t sound like you leaving me the fuck alone. You know, the thing that I just told you to do.” Karkat tucked himself into his cloak even tighter, locking his eyes on the path ahead in order to avoid accidentally glancing in Dave’s general direction.

“You see, I just didn’t think that leaving would be any fun. Besides, I have two questions for you.” Dave held up two fingers for emphasis. “First, I’ma need your name. I gave you my sweet title, so it is only fair I get to know your’s. Second, where are we going?”

“I am going to do my fucking job,” Karkat hissed, “and I thought you said that you were the one heading in this direction first. Shouldn’t you know where you are going then?”

“One doesn’t need to know where the road leads so long as they know how to walk down it.”

“And here I thought that dealing with Gamzee was the biggest headache producer there was. Congratulations on proving me fucking wrong. You win the most annoying douchebag award. You must be so fucking proud.” The Little Red clapped his hands sarcastically. “Why don’t you take a bow?”

Dave, with a smirk planted on his smug face, did just that. “I would like to thank my dear friend, Mr. Grumpy-Grouch. I wouldn’t have been able to accomplish this great feat without him. Round of applause for the little guy.” Dave proceeded to clap and pretend to wipe a tear away.

“Fuck off!” Karkat tried to shove him to the side, but didn’t have the strength to move the taller boy. “And my name is Karkat, not… whatever the fuck you said.”

“I’ve got it.” Dave held up his hands in defense. “You sure got a lot of anger for such a small package.”

“I’m not small!” Karkat shouted, flinging his arms out. “I am average! _Average_! You are just tall.”

“No. Pretty sure you’re just tiny.” Dave rested his arm atop Karkat’s head. “Sweet. You are like a walking armrest.”

The Little Red bat away the arm.  “Try it again,” he hissed. “See what happens.”

Dave backed off slightly. “I got it. No touching the Karkitten.”

“It’s Karkat.”

“You’re too tiny to be a cat. I think Kar _kitten_ suites you better,” Dave chuckled.

“And I think you being on the other side of the world would suite you,” Karkat snarled, the bridge of his nose pinching as his scowl deepened even further. “Why don’t you go call me whatever the hell your shitsponge mind can come up with somewhere over there?”

“No can do.” Dave shoved his hands into his pockets. “My bro and I just moved here and I don’t think he would be too happy about leaving again so soon.”

Karkat glanced up at him, quirking a brow. “I didn’t hear about any new arrivals.”

“We just came in the other day.” Dave shrugged his shoulders nonchalantly. “You know Jake? Happy-go-lucky-English-ducky?”

“The woodsman? Of course I know him. We kinda work hand-in-fucking-hand out here in the woods.”

“Well he and my bro are boning.” Karkat choked on his spit at Dave’s words. “They are doing the do and riding the carriage of matrimony all the way up to the alter, where sick words will be thrown down in the beat of their own combined hearts.”

Karkat stared up at him. “Huh?”

“My bro and I moved in with Jake so that they can try to get to the point where Bro can properly propose.” Dave wiggled his left hand in Karkat’s face. “So now we live in a cabin in the woods. If I wasn’t so skilled with a sword, I would think that I was stuck in some horror story, ya hear?”

Karkat said nothing.

“Yo, the silent treatment doesn’t work on me. I can carry on this whole conversation myself, if I wanted to.” Dave smirked and leaned closer. “Or I could just gift you with my wicked sweat beats instead.”

“Don’t you fucking dare.”

“Give me a beat,” Dave said, nodding his head. “Let’s make some hella sweet music together, Karkitten. It’s the best way to soothe a grumpy beast.”

“Oh God, if you truly do exist,” the Little Red prayed, glancing up towards the canopy above their heads, “reign down your fiery vengeance on me and put me out of my misery. I have never prayed to you before, but here, in my darkest fucking hour, I ask of you to end it all.”

He jumped as a crack of thunder responded to his prayers.

“Oh damnit!” Karkat cursed, bringing his hood up and dashing down the path as rain began to fall. “This is not what I asked for, you bastard!”

“I don’t think He gives you what you want if you say ‘fucking’ in your first prayer,” Dave chuckled as he ran beside Karkat, hands still in his pockets as he kept up with the other boy with ease due to his longer legs. “You ask for fire and he gives you rain. Damn. I gotta remember that. That sounds wicked sweet. That deserves to be in a rap.”

“Would you just shut up already!”


	4. The Douche and the Douche-ier

Rain fell to the earth in heavy droplets, cascading across greenery and dousing the forest. Lightning illuminated the trees as thundered rolled on above the canopy. Creatures scurried about, trying to find shelter from the storm.

“This is bullshit,” Karkat muttered, drawing his knees closer to his chest as he continued to glare out from under his tree. “Of course it just had to storm today of all days. Fuck.”

“No need to be so grumpy, Kitkat,” Dave cooed, enjoying the way that Karkat’s face scrunched up at the sound of his voice. “Rain makes life, yo, and that shit is tight. The almighty epic in the sky blessed our union by giving us the gift o’ life.”

“Why did I leave home without something metal?” Karkat asked no one in particular. “I could have climbed the tree and ended my misery in one quick burst.”

“Suicide is never the way out.” Dave smirked. “Though taking Thor’s Hammer to the face does seems like a pretty sweet way to go.”

“And here I thought that there was no one that I would want to have a conversation with less than with Kankri,” Karkat scoffed, glancing away from the other as he flipped the hood of his cloak up. “Way to prove me wrong in all the worst ways, fucktard.” Not waiting for the other boy to say another word, Karkat held his basket tightly to his body, trying to block it from the rain as best as he could, and stepped out into the rain. He ignored the sensation of the rain pelting his hood as he forced his legs to continue moving from Dave.

It took him only a few seconds to realize that Dave was trailing just behind him, riding his shadow and keeping up easily with his longer legs.

“Why are you still following me!?”

“Is it making you upset?”

“Yes.”

Dave smirked. “Then that is why.”

Karkat glanced over his shoulder and opened his mouth to retort to the other, but was cut off as his body collided with another, sending the both of them tumbling to the ground as Dave just stood by and watched. The Little Red growled as Dave’s low chuckle reached his ears, glaring at him first before moving his dark eyes to the figure on the ground with him.

“Are you fucking kidding me?” Karkat scowled deeper. “First I have to deal with this douche and now I have to deal with the ‘Prince’ of douches? Fuck you, God.”

Dave hummed behind him. “Yep. I am starting to see why he hasn’t granted you any miracles lately.”

“Shut it!” Karkat hissed. “And watch where you are going, fucktard. I wasn’t trying to avoid the rain just to end up taking a fucking mud bath.”

Eridan clicked his tongue. “I could say the same for you. Didn’t seem like you were paying much attention to where you were going either, Kar.”

“Don’t even go there, doucheking.” Karkat rose, trying in vain to brush the mud and water from his cloak and pants, cursing under his breath at the state of his basket. “Great. Just…. Great.” Karkat moved off to the side of the path once more, the other two following him to hind under the canopy of a nearby tree.

Eridan squeaked as Karkat shook his head, spraying them with water. The ex-seadweller moved his umbrella in front of him, blocking himself from the droplets. “Kar!” he whined. “Wwsatch wwhat you are doin’!”

Karkat rolled his eyes. “What does it matter? You are just going to get wet once you try to get home through this storm again.”

“Doesn’t mean you should ruin my hair.” Eridan smoothed back his dark locks. “Besides, I actually havve nice things like umbrellas, so I don’t havve to look like some sort of drowwned rat.”

The Little Red swiped the umbrella from the boy, throwing it to the side before Eridan could even comprehend what was going on. The ex-seadweller stared in shock as the object bounced on the ground three times before rolling with the wind into a deep puddle just a small distance down the path.

“And you call me a douche,” Eridan stated with a pout.

Karkat bared his teeth. “Bite me.”

“Yep,” Dave muttered, drawing their attention back onto him. “I am going to like it here.”

“Wwho the fuck is this?” Eridan asked, pointing a manicured finger into the taller boy’s face.

“Dude,” Dave gently pushed the hand away, “didn’t your mother ever teach you that its rude to point?”

“Like you care about being rude.” Karkat flinched as the thunder rolled above them. “Damnit! Why do I have to be trapped here in the middle of a forest, _in the middle of a storm_ , with you two idiotic fucktards? Did I kill an entire orphanage of children in my past life? Burn down every church I could find? What did I do to deserve this?”

“Wway to be melodramatic, Kar. It’s just rain.”

“What,” Karkat hissed, turning to glare at him, “are you even doing here? Your place is on the other side of the village.”

Eridan glanced away. “I just decided to go on a wwalk and vvisit Gam.”

The Little Red narrowed his eyes at the other. “Don’t hit on my boyfriend.”

Dave stiffened. “Boyfriend?”

Eridan scoffed. “You knoww, I can talk to someone wwithout hitting on them.”

“No,” Karkat stated, crossing his arms over his chest, his basket held in the nook of his elbow, “you really can’t.”

“Wwhatevver, Kar.”

“You know what…” Karkat took a step back and gestured to the two other boys. “Dick, meet other dick. I am going to leave now, - _do not follow me_ -, so why don’t you do what dicks do best and fight over which one of you is a bigger fucking dick, as if that makes your life any fucking better. Good-bye and fuck you.” He gave them both the bird before dashing down the path, not caring if his basket or form was getting pelting with the heavy rain as he went.

Dave and Eridan stared at his retreating back until he was long out of sight. They stood there in silence, listening to the symphony of the storm.

Eridan turned his gaze to Dave, letting his bright eyes roam his form as a smile grew upon his face. “So…”

Dave held up his hand. “Nope,” he said, turning on his heel and strolling down the path in the opposite direction.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It has been a long time since I have updated anything. I'm sorry for the long wait. I have been super busy with midterms. I will try to update a few times next week (if I can) to make up for that.   
> Thanks for everyone's patience. : )


End file.
